A happy marriage could enrich your life in so many ways that you could ever begin to fathom. On the other hand, a toxic marriage could leave you depressed and heartbroken. Marriages that involve patterns of emotional or physical abuse, infidelity, chaos, drug or substance abuse, and inappropriate sexual behavior among many others are unfortunately prevalent. This is a grave issue that comes with life-changing and devastating consequences.
The Reason Why People Stay in Toxic Marriages
In toxic marriages, one of the spouses is usually very manipulative and controlling towards the other spouse. In most cases, this behavior involves veiled or outright threats of emotional, physical, and often even financial repercussions if the manipulated spouse even considers leaving the marriage. This, in turn, instills crippling fear in the abused spouse. This is especially true if children are involved and if the abused spouse is financially dependent on the abuser.
If you have been stuck in a toxic marriage for some time, it could feel impossible to rediscover your self-worth and gather the strength and courage to break away. You might even believe in your heart that you’re to blame or the cause of your spouse’s issues. Besides, your family and friends are probably not aware of what’s happening to you, so you suffer silently because you’re too ashamed and embarrassed to reach out for help.
Leaving Your Toxic Spouse Without Looking Back
Ending a toxic marriage is undoubtedly very complicated, but there are specific steps you can take to make the process easier on you:
- Tell someone as soon as possible. Tell a friend or family member to help you plan your way out and get the encouragement you need to go through with it. Don’t forget to get the authorities involved if you fear for your life.
- Establish a safety net. Do you need to bring anything? What about money and living arrangements? You need to have a plan for things like these to make the transition easier on you.
- Get help from professionals. Go to a therapist to seek guidance on how to meet your goals and start your healing. Meet with different divorce lawyers in Suffolk County, NY to learn about your legal options.
- Learn to be financially independent. Go back to school, get proper training, or get a job. Your financial independence will help secure your future and make you more in control of your life.
- Stop all communications with your spouse. Toxic people are tremendously cunning and are not above using emotional blackmail to entice you to come back. But if you have kids, co-parenting is vital; so only communicate with your spouse on matters concerning your kids.
No doubt leaving a toxic, unhealthy, and depressing marriage is one of the most incredibly challenging decisions you will have to make in your life, but one that you should make if you want to live a happy and fulfilled life. This is especially true if you have children because the toxicity of your marriage not only affects you but them as well.